No Looking Back

Just now... I very literally took a walk down memory lane.


I had set out with the intent of being able to revisit and remember a particular, special memory of friendship. Down that road, as the twilight was gradually fading to darkness, with the perfect summer breeze that would never waver.


As I got further and further away from my present, curiosity kept taking me a few steps further. Let me just go stand on that road... no, I want to see what's up ahead... ok, just a little further... on and on it went.


I was alone, having now wandered from that path to another in the midst of an enormous grassy field, with old, giant trees casting their giant shadows. This is a place I had not come to in some time... since I was almost an entirely different person.


Although it was all so long ago now... I felt something me calling me back towards it... so I kept on moving. I felt happy.


I kept looking up at the stars.


Then I saw a light in the distance... that was the place.


I really shouldn't go much further, I told myself. Getting too close to that past could be dangerous. But still, I felt drawn in by the light.


I'll just go a little further. So I can at least see the outline of the house... for the trees were obscuring it from my view.


So I kept on going... and I broke into a run... it was all so easy now...


On and on I went, as the memories came flooding back...


...but then I felt a growing sense of uneasiness...


...am I going too far?


I'll keep going until I get to that fence that bars my way.


I run a little further... and then I see that the fence is not in my way at all.


But still... I realise I can go no further.


I cannot go intruding upon their lives now. I had never meant for things to turn out this way... but jumping right back in is not the answer. Things have turned out for the best... I cannot go messing that up.


I looked on and saw the outline of that house start to take shape... multiple lights escaping from the windows. As I had promised, I moved no further. But I stood for a moment and looked on... and uttered a promise to those I had had to leave behind. A promising ensuring that they will never be forgotten. Nor will that one special person.


I looked up at the stars once more with a smile, and bravely turned my back on the past... making a semi-hasty retreat, as it was a long road back to the present, and the darkness was nearing ever closer.


I moved back home quickly as I become more and more inspired, with fresh hope for the future emerging and filling me up inside... and then I returned, having beaten nightfall.


JiM-X