Thursday, 22 April 2010

Reasons why I'm now a better person than I was last week

Hi Ladies, Gentlemen and others, and welcome to Reasons why I'm now a better person than I was last week.

And with a title like that, who needs an intro.

1) Turn your headphone volume down, for goodness sake. I know it's really tempting to have the tunes you love pumping at full volume to make you feel good, but if you just turn it down a little a) you won't be excluding yourself as much from the outside world and b) you'll get the same level of motivation without actually killing your ears, and will actually be able to appreciate the music, and indeed the quiet, a lot more.
2) Know when you are wasting time. Ok, for one thing it was great of me to make the effort last term to spend hours studying every day, but just GOING to the library out of routine, as I was, is not necessarily the same thing. Make sure the time you are claiming to spend at work is, for the most part, actually focused on your work. Also, don't waste hours staring down at an empty page. If it's not happening, try something else and come back to it later.

Ok, now I'm gonna stop pretending this is about someone else.

3) I cut out the caffeine, for the most part. That shit was messing me up in a way I wasn't even aware of... and the truth is, drinking decaf actually tastes the same, but without the insane jitteriness afterwards. So now I can enjoy a coffee in the middle of the night. =)
4) I've actually gotten quite into POLITICS now. Many of you will find this a shock but yes, there is important stuff going on and I'm taking an interest, because I want the best for this country and indeed the world, so I think it's important we all try to take an active interest so we can do the best we can to help one another. And I'm totally voting Lib Dem. =D=D=D
5) This is the biggie, I think. I've often wondered (not that often, actually) why people break up with me, and more often than not I decide it's because they're idiots. But a conversation I had with someone recently showed me that while I have my moments - I'm gonna quote her directly here... "you're a different person everytime I speak to you". And that's the thing.
My integrity was never in question. More to do with the way I let feelings govern the way I act, without giving enough thought to some of the stuff I come out with.
I thought just being an honest person was enough to gain one's trust, but now I've realised it also helps if you are able to control your feelings and the way you express them, helping to maintain your composure as the person you want people to see you as. Looking back, this has been a major fault in my personality for a long time and I'm grateful to this person for bringing it up.
6) Another quite biggie. Admit to yourself when stuff scares you, don't try and make excuses. The sooner you admit that your not doing something or avoidance or something is out of fear, the sooner you can get over it and re-awesomealize yourself. Yes, that was a new word. Like it?

I like how occasionally stuff like this comes up so I can act on it. Self-improvement and helping others (not just friends) are among the most important things that motivate me.

I've made some AWESOME music lately too. In fact it's SMMMMMMOKIN'!!!

Um, The End. Bye!


Sunday, 11 April 2010

Where Expressions Become Real...

My first attempt at prose in a long while. Comments please!!

Despairing, unable to provide himself with a decent task with which to occupy himself and his sense of ambition wavering, he sat down for a moment with his head in his hands.
“My life’s slipping through my fingers,” he muttered to himself, tormented by the inevitability of death and his dreams going unfulfilled.
Almost as soon as these words escaped his lips... or perhaps even earlier, at the moment the thought of saying those words was triggered in his mind, he suddenly started to feel a crushing emptiness. A growing feeling of dread that was getting more intense with every passing second, as if his very soul was being strangled by thorns of despair, mercilessly tightening their grip.
With each passing moment, he felt more and more like giving up. More and more at peace. But as soon as he began to feel at peace, he then became very panicky - for he realised that somehow he was losing himself...
His hands were cold... and wet. Drops of some mysterious crystal-looking liquid began to dampen the carpet beneath him. But he was not yet aware of what was happening... for some reason time had seemed to slow down for him and he was lost in his own sense of helplessness, becoming numb to the outside world...
Several minutes later, he stirred again, awoken by beams of brilliant light, shining wildly and lighting up his darkening front room. He saw that they were emanating from a strange puddle on the carpet.
Not only that, but it was showing him some strange, unfamiliar images. Various people, young and old, exciting, beautiful locations, and sorts of all experiences, flashing by too quickly for him to comprehend. Because he did not recognise a single one of them.
Now he felt was that his time was running out. Whatever it was that had taken a hold of him was about to win the battle. He felt his senses numbing, his strength fading away and everything fading to black. His last ounces of strength dedicated themselves to the remaining traces of his memory, determined to use what ever he could recall of this world to save his life before there was nothing left.
All that remained were the words he had uttered a few moments before.
And with that, he let himself fall into the pool of mysterious liquid now beginning to flood his room. Submerged, he felt a sudden rush of reinvigoration. He propelled himself across the room, bouncing off the walls in all directions, absorbing the life energy he had lost moments ago. He felt his spirit being restored piece by piece, his determination reborn and a powerful sense of euphoria. Soon, he had recovered the last of his lost soul, bouncing off the floor onto his feet, having returned to full strength.
At this point, in a moment lasting no longer than a few seconds, he made a silent vow to never again let his life slip through his fingers. He burst out of his front door and ran off into the distance, his sense of ambition more determined and focused than ever as he began chasing his rediscovered dream.