Saturday, 29 August 2009

Dear me, it's been too long a while.

Dear me, it's been too long a while.

And I really don't know where to start this time. I've been so busy recently my mind is just all fogged up. I don't know who else to put it than use that term which is a cliche in my eyes but in no one else's.

I just want to get noticed. I want the band to get noticed. At this moment, though, I feel an unusual sense of self-doubt.

I'm gonna start with the thing that's immediately obvious to me. Where are all the friends I had that used to be on MySpace. Mainly, on Facebook. They mainly apparently don't use MySpace anymore. But around the time I set up my own MySpace page for my music, I had people publicly commenting me and telling me how good I was. To be fair this new page for the band, Optical Cool, has only been around for a matter of hours. But still, we have no friends except for me, the usual MySpace bots and some bands which are famous enough to have people run them and add everyone anyway. I guess with these things you just have to be patient.

Even though I've been out alot lately, being in on a Saturday night just makes me feel uncomfortable. I love everything about going out. The people around, the sights, the sounds, the whole vibe, the getting drunk, and it really frustrates me when for some reason I can't have it. Here in a quiet part of Derbyshire, there's very little on my doorstep without driving out. Which I still can't. Well, I can, but my mum is still not sure about letting me. It's frustrating.

It's also annoying when you can't talk to certain people when you really need them.
It's also frustrating when you fear that something in life may have already gone wrong, and now there's no putting it right.

I'm trying to figure out where all the negative aspects of my personality came from. It's often said that there aren't that many but for some reason, I'm just never satisfied. I will always want to better myself. No matter how many friends I make, no matter how many people I go out with, no matter how much fitter I become physically.

Got lots of people in my phonebook, but also none. Know what I mean?

Well, I'm off to Cornwall tomorrow. Week's holiday. Hopefully that will be nice. Hopefully I can find some internet somewhere and I can keep in touch.

Should anyone actually read this, please check this out...