Saturday, 16 January 2010

Procrastinators Anonymous/I Hate Calculus

Ey up fellas 'n' guys, and ladies and stuff. How are your families?
Right then, bloggage time. I can't decide whether that should be with two g's or just one, but I is gonna leave it for now.
So, the main reason I'm here is 'cos Calculus is really making me sick. I can't stand it anymore. I feel I've come on a little but I don't feel anywhere near as ready as I'd like to be for the exam on Tuesday. Just two days of studying left, one of which is gonna include my journey back to Leeds. Not that it's a long journey, but still. Ok, so I sound like I'm moaning but I guess it could be worse.
To tell the truth, it is a bit annoying that I just seem to spend so much time wrapped up in this stuff. I really can't wait to go out again and get back into, and I mean that this time. I have these commitments I've made to studying, music and fitness, but I really wanna leave plenty of time for friendship, and meeting new people and creating new friendships. I don't seem to be doing so much of that this year so far and it kind of sucks.
That said, I've just recently gained an insane amount of self confidence. Some of that comes from that the fact that all the hard work I've been putting into working out is starting to show, some from the amazing music I've been creating on my own and with Optical Cool which I can't wait to share one day, a LOT is thanks to Mercedes of course (Thank you SOOOO MUCH!!! XXX), and perhaps even more is finally slaying this little bastard demon called Procrastination.
So many of us students and young people in general seem to suffer quite badly from it (a reason why many of us are here on Facebook in the first place) and the bottom life is it just seems to make life so shit. If this was a meeting of Procrastinator's Anonymous, I would be the first one to stand up and say:

"Hi, my name's Jim-x and I'm a procastinatioholic."

Like my new word? ;)
Anyway, the point is I struggled with that majorly last semester and a lot of first year, and I just got really sick of it and I don't wanna go through that shit anymore. I want to put the hours into work, to music, to friendship, to exercise and everything. Basically, I wanna give my all to this sword. That was my new year's resolution and so far, I'm sticking to that pretty well.
I've really found that the more you do, the easier everything gets and the better you feel. But it's also a good idea to narrow your commitments down to the really important things so your time is focused only on the really important stuff, and you're not taking on more than you can handle.

I'm really looking forward to getting this exam over with, as much as I'm afraid that I'm not going to do as well as I'd like. I can only do my best now but I just want this to be over. I just want to be able to spend a few days just absorbed in music and creating something new, very emotional and very special.
There are a couple of projects I'm gonna work on in the 5 days or so I'll have off. I didn't really have a Xmas break so I'm about ready for those. Number one, Mercedes is SOOO getting a song of her own. For all she's done for me lately she more than warrants a place in my heart for what I hope will be a long time to come. Also, I have a little present for all Final Fantasy geeks out there which I started before Xmas, and I should hope to finish that at some point. Apart from that, I've got to really express this stuff inside me some way after all this time so you can be sure I'll find a way to do that.
Tonight I'm just so sleepy and stressed from studying I've been trying to unwind. Hopefully I'll feel better after a good night's sleep and back to Leeds.
And for now, I think that's it.



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